Hi, Ellen here again.
I'm sorry about any vague descriptions in the last story. it was due to my nervousness and the fact
that I had only been in the yard a week.
So the story telling art hadn't kicked in. I think the horses in the yard are the only
horses in
I'll never forget my mother, nor Pippa. I wonder where they are now. Well, my mother's, I'm not very religious,
well, she's wherever heaven is. As for
Pippa I can't be sure. I think she's
still in James Neil's appalling stable complex.
I hope she's getting on better than she was when I last spoke to
her. Ah well, I suppose I can't live in the past. I have to move on and that's what my mother
and Pippa would have wanted.
I am already hacking out with other horses. I love the freedom of the countryside around
the stables. There seems to be endless
fields in which to jog, loap and whatever else we do. I come to one such day in the middle of
summer. The sun was out and the air was
warm. The grass was springy under my
hooves as I jogged over a field. My
spirits were so high I nearly lost them in to space. I was feeling great, so great in fact that I
couldn't keep still. My restless energy
communicated itself to the other horses on the hack because they began to play
up also. Rosie skipped about like an
overenthusiastic foal. Domino decided to
walse with a human on her back. Although
I don't know what Domino's female human rider had to say about this, I didn't ask her. The Manageress was on Natasha's back and
Natasha didn't seem to want to play our games.
Anyway, there we were, jogging
along a track Rosie up in front, she couldn't be anywhere else. Domino was jogging beside me and Natasha,
well, she was back behind us with the Manageress trying to urge her on. Natasha had told us that she was feeling
awful.
“But how
can you feel bad on a day like today?” I
had asked.
“Well Ellen, it's easy.
You have a particularly bad night before and then you feel awful in the
morning.” I didn't ask Natasha what she
had been doing “the night before.” I
didn't ask her verbally but my face told her a great deal.
“You want to
know what I was doing? It's none of your
bloody business!” she yelled. Then Natasha let fly with insults to the
Irish that I cannot repeat on paper.
This really angered me! When I
get angry or excited my southern Irish accent gets very strong indeed.
“Natasha! Why do you insult me? What have I done to you? I don't think you know what you're
saying! You have no idea what those
words mean do you Natasha! You just say
them for the sheer sake of it!” I
yelled. Hearing the commotion Rosie
dropped back until she was level with Natasha and myself. She had a slight Irish accent and took our
Irish traditions almost as seriously as I did.
Both her parents were Irish but she had been born in
“I'm Irish
in breed alone.” she had said. Now Rosie was walking beside me on the track,
on a warm summer's day. I felt strangely
honored that I should be walking shoulder to shoulder with the leader of the
herd. I told her as much.
“I don't
know why you put so much weight behind this leader thing. I'm a pretty quiet horse who keeps out of
trouble if I can help it. I'm no
different to you or any of the other horses Ellen.” she said.
“That's not
what I've heard.” I said. Rosie went on the defensive.
“What have
you heard?” she asked suspiciously.
“Oh nothing
really just about the time you bashed Cleo and
rescued the horses from a fire.”
Rosie gave me a look of self deprecation.
“I was only
doing my job. As I was elected Leader I
have to act like one, you see what I mean?”
Rosie asked.
“Well yeah,
I see. But just it being your duty does
not explain your courage during the fire.”
I replied. Rosie looked away.
“Let's not
talk about that.” she said. I saw Rosie
look up towards my rider. He was the
same man that used to ride Rosie. When
he had been transferred from riding her to training me she had felt a little
rejected. I could tell that she still
felt it now. Her eyes held a wistful
look.
“You enjoyed
your work when he rode you didn't you Rosie.”
I stated. Rosie looked sad.
“Yes, I did.”
she said mournfully. She took a
deep breath and shook herself. Rosie's
rider swore at her.
“You bloody
Sod!” My rider, Rosie's ex rider turned
in his saddle and gave Rosie's rider a mouthful.
“Come on
“What would
you know Martin? You've never worked
with her.” Rosie lost her temper
then. She reared up on her hind legs and
sprinted forward galloping away from us.
“
“Come on
Ellen, let's go and relieve poor Rosie of her burden.” Martin Said.
With this I charged forward on the attack!
“He'll
live.” Rosie said flatly. I noticed that her expression held no
compassion for the human that had fallen five feet to the grass.
“I Hate
him!” Rosie fumed. She looked at my rider with something
bordering on madness.
“How can he
say something like, “You've never worked
with me?” It's terrible!” she yelled.
Martin attempted to comfort Rosie by stroking her ears.
“Don't
worry.” he said. I nudged Rosie.
“You all
right?” I asked. Rosie gave me a look of sorrowing gravity.
“I wish I
had your Rider.” she said sadly. I knew what she meant. My rider was gentle, too gentle
sometimes. He talked to me discussing
things such as Politics, there is a lot of that where I come from. I have no particular leanings towards left or
right. I just hate violence and hope
that the peace process started in the northern part of my homeland goes
well. Enough of that, on with the story
I suppose. Rosie's rider had picked
himself up from the grass and was making threatening signs at Rosie. The Manageress dismounted from Natasha's back
and came over to us.
“
(
“I can ride
Rosie just like her current rider.”
(The Manageress)
“You've only
just started today.”
(
“I'll bet I
can ride her as well as anyone.”
(The Manageress)
“All right,
but don't blame me if your over confidence lands you on the grass.”
“How are you getting on with Western style Ellen?” Natasha asked.
“All right
thanks Natasha.” I replied. Rosie nudged me.
“I vote we
get out of here.” she said. With this she tore across the field running
away from the main string. I watched her
go.
“Poor
thing.” Natasha said.
“She's had a
lot to deal with in these last few weeks.”
I said.
“You are
Rosie's replacement Ellen. How must Rosie
feel walking next to you with Martin on your Back?” Natasha asked.
“There's no
resentment towards me.” I said.
“Perhaps
Rosie's not showing it.” Natasha
said. I looked at the horse that only
ten minutes ago had been insulting me in unforgivable terms.
“I don't
think I should be talking to you.” I
said.
“Why
not?” Natasha asked.
“Well, you
were insulting me ten minutes before.
Remember that Natasha?” I
asked. Natasha looked downcast.
“I'm sorry
Ellen. But what's my business is mine
alone and you shouldn't pry.” she said
aggrievedly. I left it. I wasn't going to try and educate Natasha on
the meanings of the insults she had thrown at me. I looked at Rosie standing rigidly against
the background of the hedge. She looked
tense and worried. I shook my head and
made signs to my rider that I wanted to go across to her. I walked across the field towards my
leader. I saw that Rosie's face held a
look of total exhaustion.
“You can't
begin to guess what it's like to have a total bozo on your back!” she screamed.
I nuzzled her shoulder.
“Come on
Rosie dear. Don't think about him.” Rosie looked over my head at my rider.
“I wish I
had your rider Ellen!” she
whimpered. I felt so sorry for
Rosie. She had been used to a gentle,
kind, thoughtful man who knew horses.
Despite the problems this man had they had got on fine. Now, all had changed, I had the man, Rosie had the “bozo” as she put it. Rosie's massive head turned my way.
“Ellen, can
I confide something in you?” Rosie
asked.
“Why yes
Rosie, please talk to me.” I replied.
Rosie looked far more upset than I had ever seen her.
“I'm
getting too old for this! Only good
riders can keep me out of pain.”
“What
pain?” I asked.
“I'm
getting increasingly arthritic. My legs
keep seizing up. Your rider is
gentle. He lets me go at my own
speed.” She said. I felt awful.
How could a horse of eighteen years, a picture of health and energy be
experiencing such torment? It upset me
to think of Rosie unable to work. My
expression must of told Rosie far more than I wanted. I've never seen Rosie cry, but she was
now. Tears weld in her eyes and ran down
her nose.
“Rosie!” I said gently. Rosie rubbed her now wet nose against mine.
“Sorry
Ellen.” she sobbed. Martin Took hold of Rosie's reigns and led
her back to the stable yard. We must
have looked strange. A horse and rider
as normal, with another horse walking slowly alongside. Rosie had her head hung in shame. It must have taken a lot for Martin to trust
me. I had only worked with him for a
week and I could have done anything. But
he trusted me as he had trusted Rosie.
I'm not going to abuse that trust.
We walked into the yard and Rosie dissolved into fresh tears.
“I cannot
deal with this.” she wailed.
“Rosie,
don't cry love.” Jinja said gently. Rosie looked at her husband with despair.
“Thanks
Jinja.” she said. She walked over to him and nuzzled his ear
and rubbed herself against him. As a
rule Jinja didn't like horses but he had always had a soft spot for Rosie. I watched them, I felt strange, as if I had
known these horses all my life. Jinja
caught sight of me.
“Hi
Ellen.” he said suddenly. I knew him by sight , but Jinja had never met
me.
“How do you
know that's Ellen?” Rosie asked.
“Ellen's
the only newcomer to the yard.” Jinja
said. He walked over to meet me.
“How you
doing Ellen?” He asked. I looked at him. He was a lot smaller than Rosie. I wondered stupidly how they could ever get
on.
“Love
transcends all.” I thought. Jinja looked at me watching him.
“Finding me
interesting are we?” he asked.
“No, I mean
yes, oh you know what I mean.” I
faltered. Jinja smiled.
“Yes
Ellen.” he said. Rosie had stopped crying and was stamping
about, her face showing her distress at malfunctioning limbs.
Jinja looked at his wife with concern.
“I'm sorry
Rosie.” he said gently. What else could he say? I looked at Rosie's distress.
“What's
going to happen to me?” she asked
plaintively.
“There are
a few things we can do.” Jinja said.
“Don't tell
me, it's going to be a serious thing.”
Rosie said nervously.
“No, it's a
cream actually. I was reading a paper
yesterday.” Jinja replied. He walked over to Martin and whispered into
his ear. The human patted Jinja's neck
and gave him the thumbs up sign. Jinja
walked towards us saying,
“That's settled
then. I've asked our friend to get us
some of the cream stuff I read about.”
he said.
Sure enough the
human with the problem that I couldn't quite put my hoof on, returned with the
cream for Rosie. He massaged it into the
joints that were affected. Rosie seemed
to enjoy this, I couldn't blame her really.
Jinja watched this in silence.
Rosie suddenly tossed her head.
“My legs
have gone all hot!” she said.
“Don't
worry Rosie love.” Jinja said
soothingly. The human that had applied
this treatment read the label.
“Jinja,
this is deep heat type stuff.” he
said. I was interested.
“What's
deep heat?” I asked.
“Muscle
relaxant. It warms strained muscles to
get them working again. It might help
for a bit but what you really need is the proper stuff for this.” the human
replied. Jinja looked stupid.
“Hell, I
didn't know.” he said.. I smiled.
“You tried
to help. You can't be blamed for
that.” I said. Rosie looked at her husband with pitiful
intensity.
“You mean
this is not working?” she asked Jinja.
“No, well,
I don't know, I don't know.” Jinja was
almost crying. Tears threatened to
overcome him. It was obvious to me that
Jinja felt for Rosie. This touched me
deeply. I looked at the two of
them. My expression told Rosie and Jinja
that I was upset. I nearly cried
myself. I sniffed.
“There's no
use in crying. It's not going to solve
anything.” I said. Rosie knew this, Jinja did also. My human friend had disappeared for another
week. Rosie looked me up and down.
“You've
only been here for a few weeks but I feel like I've known you for a long
time.” she said. I nuzzled her shoulder and nipped her ear.
“Hey!” she shouted.
Rosie butted me hard in my shoulder.
I engaged with Rosie in a rough and tumble type game. We were stopped by Jingle who came round the
corner from her box.
“Just look
at you two.” she said. Rosie looked at Jingle.
“What's the
matter Jingle dear?” she asked.
“You and
Ellen are acting like a couple of foals.”
Jingle replied.
“What's
wrong with that?” I asked.
“Nothing
wrong with it.” Jingle said. I detached myself from the fight and
approached Jingle.
“Why are you
called Jingle?” I asked her. Jingle smiled suddenly.
“You can't
notice it, but humans can. When I talk
to you it's quite normal. But most
horses don't talk in words to humans.
They think it's a waste of time.
But I do. I talk to them. I get a better response that way. I started “talking” when my sight was getting worse. It attracted humans to me and made sure that
I wasn't left out of the action. My
whinny is my strong point. I am
contracted to work for radio stations. I
help to create Jingles. That's why I'm
called Jingle.” she explained.
“Oh right,
that's it is it?” I asked.
“Pretty
much.” Jingle replied. I followed Jingle on her invitation to meet
the horses in her “street” as she called it.
Jingle's street was more of a close.
It was blocked off by an unoccupied loose box. Jingle turned right into the covered
area. As I walked in, one of the horses in the area said,
“Oh hi
Rosie,,,” Then the horse that had spoken
took another look.
“Oh it's not
Rosie, sorry!” she said. I looked at the horse that had made the
mistake. A black and white horse, small
with bright eyes. We regarded each other
for a few minutes.
“What's your
name?” I asked. The piebald horse looked at me steadily.
“Domino,
but why? Who are you?” Domino seemed nervous.
“I'm no-one
really, my name's Ellen and I'm an Irish Draft horse. I'm not going to do anything to you.” I reassured her. Domino sighed,
“yeah, you
can't be to careful though.” she
said. Jingle gave Domino a “Don't say
anything out of term” look. She said,
“Domino,
you're to treat Ellen with respect. I
know you're frightened of her, but don't insult her.” Domino knew what Jingle meant. But I hadn't a clue.
“Domino's
prone to saying what comes into her head.
In light of your Irish origins I am trying to limit the anti Irish
sentiments that Domino may blurt out if she's frightened.” Jingle said.
Domino's face showed sad resignation.
“You're
easily frightened then Domino.” I
observed.
“Well,
yes, I suppose so.” she replied.
Another horse spoke up then.
“Hey Ellen,
how are you finding it here?” she
asked. Jingle gave the horse a sharp
look. I gathered that if a horse spoke
to a newcomer without being introduced first it was judged to be impolite. This new speaker had done just that and
Jingle was furious.
“Cleo, you
know the rules!” she snapped. Jingle looked at my face to see if I was
offended.
“It's all
right.” I said. I looked at Cleo. She stared back impassively.
“I'm doing
fine thanks Cleo.” I replied at
last. Fudge proceeded to break the rules
once again to Jingle's annoyance. So
proceeded a lively chat with Jingle trying to restore order and failing at
it. She stormed back into her box
strangely furious with all of us. I
liked them all. Domino and fudge in
particular. Domino because of her simple
attitude to things. as for my reasons for liking Fudge, well I don't know why. This didn't mean in any way that Jingle and
Cleo were second rate, no horse is second rate.
Well, that's what I thought. I was to be told very differently the very
next day.
The morning dawned clear and bright. I hadn't slept the night before. My brain was fizzing with impressions, ideas,
imagist. I was so strung up I couldn't
even think straight. I wanted to get out
of my box, to walk about. I tried my
door. I lifted the bolt and pushed it
back. I gave the door a hard kick and it
opened.
“Easy.” I thought.
I walked out into the yard and round to where A field joined the
yard. I looked round the field and saw a
herd of horses. I called over to them.
“Hey! I've never met you lot before. Can you help me?” I asked.
One raised his head and looked at me.
“You're
that new Irish horse aren't you?” I
didn't like the way he stressed the “Irish”
part.
“Well
yes,,,” He interrupted with,
“You
cow! Get out of our country you
bitch!” I was shocked!
“That's not
the way to win friends and influence people.”
I said. The large horse said,
“I don't
care!” With that he tried to bite
me. I backed off wondering what the hell
I had got myself in to.
“Who are
you?” I asked. The large aggressive horse spat on the grass.
“None of
your bloody business!” was the
reply. I was out of my depth. I opened the gate and walked in to the
field. One mistake I'll never make
again. The moment I was over the
threshold the large horse attempted to attack me. He flew at me with teeth bared and hooves
flying. I was caught totally off
guard. I squealed in terror!
“Help! someone Help!
I'm being,,,” The large horse hit
me one almighty blow on the head with a well aimed kick and I was sprawling on
the grass unconscious. My shouts had
roused Rosie from sleep and caused her to batter her door down. She sprinted across the yard and through the
gate of the field. She finished the
horse who had attacked me. I was told
this afterwards.
Feeling returned fuzzily. I felt the grass under me, the wind through
my mane, and bruises all over. I moaned
involuntarily.
“Ellen? Ellen?” Rosie asked urgently. I couldn't answer her, I felt sick. I groaned as my head started throbbing.
“Oh
God!” I whimpered. Someone asked,
“Is she all
right?” I gave vent to the most unhorse
like wail of pain.
“Ellen? It's Domino, can you get up?” The voice called Domino urged me to my
feet. Rosie chipped in,
“Don't
force her Domino.” she warned. Domino rubbed my nose with her's.
“You were
attacked by the leader of the field horses.
What were you doing in there?”
Domino asked. I struggled onto my
chest with much swearing. When I finally
managed it I told her.
“It sounds
to me as if you didn't know what you were walking in to.” another horse said. I looked at the horse who had spoken.
“You look
like Domino's double.” I commented.
“yes, I'm
her Son. My name's Dominic.” the horse said. Dominic was a huge horse with muscles I would
usually credit a body builder with. But
he seemed not to take any extra exercise than the rest of us. I think I would have felt safe if he was with
me when I made my journey into death's jaws.
Dominic carried his large frame and presence with as much ease as Rosie
or I did. I grimaced as I staggered to
my feet.
“I know the
feeling.” Rosie said. I took a couple of experimental steps and
wished I hadn't. My head swam with dizzy
sickness. Dominic watched me stagger and
leant his shoulder against me to support my weight. I was eternally grateful.
“Thanks
Dominic.” I said. Dominic smiled at me.
“It's no
problem.” he said gently. I staggered back to the yard and into my box
feeling, if you can excuse the pun, like I had been kicked by a horse! Sorry about that. I grew stiff and my bruises became black and
grew stiffer still. I felt really
busted! I told Jingle and anyone else
about the thumping I had received from the leader of the field horses. They had already received the news from
Dominic. I walked about the yard working
my stiffened joints and feeling totally useless. I turned a corner and came face to face with
Balugue. She jumped a mile when she
caught sight of me.
“I, I, I
don't, I mean I didn't see you coming round the corner Ellen.” she stammered.
“Don't
worry Balugue.” I reassured her. I received a friendly snuffling from Balugue
who hadn't met me before.
“Sorry. she said as she realised
what she was doing.
“It's all
right Balugue, don't worry about it.” I
reassured her. Balugue looked at me,
surprise in her eyes.
“You look
almost identical to Rosie.” she
remarked.
“We're not
related. Well, I don't think we
are.” I replied.
“All
right, I suppose it's too much to
hope.” she said.
“What do
you mean?” I asked. It transpired that Rosie had a sister.
“What was
Rosie's sister's name?” I asked.
“Jess.” Balugue replied. I stared at her.
“What's the
matter Ellen?” Balugue asked.
“Jess was my mother's name.” I said faintly.
“I'll ask
Rosie.” Balugue promised.
I was dreading the day when Rosie came to me with the
answer. I felt sick with
apprehension. When the answer came it
was as bad as I had forecast. Rosie did
indeed have a sister who was transported to Ireland three years before I was
born. When I quizzed Rosie on her
sister's markings she described my mother exactly. I tried to break it to her gently that her
sister, my mother was dead. Rosie was
devastated.
“Oh
God! I can't think, I'm so, so sorry.”
she faltered. I knew what the next
question would be.
“How did she
die?” Rosie asked. I must have looked as uncomfortable as I
felt.
“bolt.” I said flatly.
Rosie squealed in sudden pain. She collapsed on the grass and shook
violently. I sank down on my knees to
see if she was all right.
“Rosie!” I yelled. The motionless form on the grass didn't
move. No reaction at all. I began to panic. I thumped Rosie with my nose until she
shouted at me.
“stop!
stop!” she yelled. I relented then.
“What the
hell do you think you were doing?” Rosie
asked angrily.
“You
collapsed after I,,,” Rosie burst into
tears. I cradled her head on my shoulder
until she had calmed down.
“That's
horrible. Dying like that.” she said.
I didn't tell her why my mother had died. I knew she would ask however and she
did. I couldn't beat around the bush
about it. I came straight out with the
truth and nothing else. To say Rosie was
shocked would be an understatement. Her
eyes were on stalks and she was panting for breath.
“Oh
no! No!
No!” she sobbed.
“Rosie, I
know how you feel.” I said gently.
“Yeah, she
was your Mother.” Rosie dried her eyes
and suddenly smiled.
“Hey, that
makes me your aunt then Ellen.” she said
suddenly.
“I suppose
it does Rosie.” I replied. This news cheered Rosie up no end. She almost danced into the yard. Soon the news spread round the yard and there
was the jokes also. Rosie and I didn't
mind in the least. My stiffened state
continued for a week longer.
The day came when I had to be shod. That is a strange but not unpleasant
experience. That is of course if you can
stand having iron rimmed hooves at the end of it. The farrier was gentle and seriously
overworked. He patted me as the
Manageress led me towards the mobile forge.
The farrier was standing there with a small furnace beside him. My old shoes were knocked off and he cast new
ones from templates he had ready. I
suppose the worst part of the whole thing is when he knocks the nails into my
hooves. It doesn't hurt but the
vibrations travel right up my leg, that's not very pleasant. I always marvel at the weight of my hooves as
I walk away. They seem not to belong to
me for a few hours. I remembered the
time when I had my first set of shoes.
My hooves felt so heavy I shuffled rather than walked back to my
box. But now it was different. Three and a half years down the line.
So there I was, once again waiting to be shod. Strangely enough Rosie was having her shoes
re‑fitted in front of me. She
whinnied at me as I came into sight.
“Friend is
she?” the farrier asked.
“Well,
yeah, you could say that.” Rosie
replied. I rubbed my nose against her's
as she passed.
“See you in a
minute.” Rosie said. So it was my turn. The farrier picked up one hoof and tapped the
shoe until the loose nails fell out. The
shoe fell on the ground with a clatter.
Then he picked up the new shoe and tried it for shape and size. He then made final adjustments until he was
satisfied and finally drove the nails home.
The Farrier did this for all four feet and then I was allowed to
go. I played about for a few seconds pretending
that I couldn't lift my feet from the ground.
The reason for this horseplay was
to see how the Manageress would react.
She just patted my neck and massaged my ears telling me in a friendly
tone to,
“Stop
playing about.” I stopped playing about
and went in search of Rosie.
I found her in her box munching on straw. She looked up as I approached.
“Hi Ellen
dear, how're the new shoes?
“Heavy.” I replied.
“And
yours?” I asked.
“Same as
you.” Rosie answered. I bashed at her door with my nose and one
newly shod fore foot.
“Do you
want to come in by any chance?” Rosie
asked.
“yeah, I
wouldn't mind.” I replied. Rosie unbolted her door and let me into her
box.
“You heard
the latest?” Rosie asked.
“No,
what?” Rosie looked suddenly depressed.
“We're
losing one of our longest residents.”
“Who?” I asked.
“Figaro's
retiring.” Rosie said flatly. I think her flat tone was to disguise her
real feelings of loss. She respected
Figaro and knew why he was retiring.
“I can't believe it.” I said. Figaro stood in high regard with all the horses in the yard. I was unknown to him but felt the loss as keenly as Rosie or any other horse that had known Figaro for years. I was confused,
“Why?” I asked.
“He's got
something wrong with his leg. It won't
clear up and the Manageress thinks he'll be lame for six months. They've decided to retire him.” Rosie explained. I felt so empty inside I couldn't explain
it. Rosie knew how I felt.
“He'll not
worry about it. Don't remind him
Ellen. If you
don't he won't get upset.”
“Is Figaro
upset?” I asked.
“Devastated.” Rosie replied. The stuffing had been knocked out of the day
for me. Rosie knew this and tried to
comfort me.
“Figaro's
going to be a pet for a family. He'll
live in a field with four other horses.”
she reassured me.
“That's
good.” I said numbly. I walked away from that Horse box feeling
battered in the emotional department. I
trailed back to my box resisting an urge to go and talk to Figaro. I did look in however and saw that he was
depressed. I couldn't just leave him
could I! Forgetting all previous resolve
to leave well alone I walked to his box.
“Hi!” he said airily. I knew this outer sheen was masking turbulent
chaos inside. I looked at Figaro trying
to disguise my emotions from him. He was
too smart for that however and guessed that I was upset.
“I suppose
you've heard.” this was a
statement. A horse must have been on
Mars if they hadn't got the news by now.
Figaro looked over at Fleur.
“I'm having
to leave you.” he said shakily. Fleur tried to comfort him the best she
could.
“You'll
love it there. It sounds great! I'd love it, you know, standing in a field
with other horses. Being groomed, fed,
and no work!” she emphasised this
part. Figaro wasn't the one to laze
about though.
“I'm not a lazy
horse.” he said finally. Fleur shook her head,
“No your
not, but you've got to slow down someday.
You're fifteen for hell's sake.”
she said. Figaro's reply was,
“Rosie's
eighteen, she's still working!” Fleur
knew why mares were kept and didn't enlarge on the reasons. She didn't want to upset her friend any
more. I looked at her.
“Fleur?” I asked.
“Ellen?” she replied.
“How did
you get on with
that
strange man?” I knew that Martin had a
problem, but I couldn't work out what.
He didn't bother to tell us about corners etc. Rosie had worked it out and had told us at a
meeting. But I couldn't remember what
she had said.
“Oh
fine!” Fleur was excited.
“He's
funny, I don't mean that in a horrid
way, He's trusting, really
friendly.” she concluded. She shook her head hard. She smiled suddenly and said,
“I kept
searching for polos. He found that
funny.”
“The man's
name's Martin if you would prefer to use it.”
I said. Fleur nodded.
“Yeah, I know.”
she replied. I looked at Fleur
thinking how attractive she was. Fleur
had an almost blonde mane and a steel grey coat. Her tail was much the same colour as her
mane.
It was said that she was thick and couldn't add two and
two together. But she was kind,
thoughtful, and generous. These were
worth more than any amount of brain power.
Fleur had a long mane and this gave her a beauty that I would have done
anything to possess. But I wasn't
resentful, not in the slightest. Fleur
rubbed her nose against mine.
“Tell me
about Ireland.” she said. So I told her, all of it, leaving nothing
out. To say Fleur was shocked at my
description of James Neil's place would be a sorry understatement. She stared at me with her mouth wide open.
“Close your
mouth Fleur. You look silly.” I told her.
Fleur closed it. I hadn't
finished with her yet. I told her about
Pippa and I running away. I told her of
the swim across the river. I described
my mother, her joy at seeing me again, and our plans for a new life. Then,
the crunch! I described the
attack too vividly for Fleur. She leant
against me for support and buried her head in my shoulder. I saw she was trying to fight back tears.
“No, no
more!” she sobbed,
“I can't
take any more!” she said. I tried to comfort Fleur as best I could.
“You seem
very, Oh, I don't know how to put
it.” Fleur said.
“I know what
you mean, and, it's not true. I'm not
able to talk about it really.” I told
her.
“But why do
you if it hurts you so much?” Fleur
asked.
“You asked
me, anyway, it's good to talk to someone about it.” I replied.
I didn't tell her about Rosie's connection with my mother.
“That would
only upset her more.” I reasoned. Fleur asked the one question I hoped she
wouldn't.
“Rosie and
you are very much alike Ellen. Are you
related?” My face told her too much, far
too much! Fleur may have been thought of
as thick, In many respects she was not
the brain of Britain nor that of the stable yard. But she had a talent for reading facial
expressions and driving straight to the heart of the matter. But this matter upset her greatly.
“Rosie is
related to you, she is! I know it!”
she wailed. I knew her pain was
not because Rosie and I were related.
No, it was because I had lost my mother, and Rosie had lost her
sister. I thought that now Fleur knew
the truth I would finish it.
“Rosie's my
aunt. That's the connection, don't you
see Fleur?” I need not have asked. Fleur suddenly burst out!
“Why do
days have to be so awful? First Figaro's
leaving, then you come along and I ask you a simple question Ellen, and, you
tell me a horror story!” she yelled.
“I'm sorry
Fleur.” I replied.
“Nothing to
be sorry about really. You didn't know
how I would react. Then again, I did ask
you to tell me. It's my own fault I've
got myself into this state.”
Fleur looked at Figaro with pain in her eyes.
“I'll miss
you.” she said quietly. Figaro actually let himself go and
cried. I released Figaro and Fleur's box
bolts and they walked through the yard together. I stayed behind watching them. I didn't want to disturb them. I felt very unhappy myself. I hardly knew Figaro but all the same, the
wrench was awful. Sure enough that very
next Saturday Figaro was led into the transporter lorry thing and driven out of
the yard with Fleur's cries of anguish following him. I had stayed with her while they had led
Figaro out of his box and loaded him into the lorry. Fleur knew that he wouldn't come back. Figaro knew this also and dragged his feet as
much as he could. He whinnied and bucked
but it was no good. Protesting bitterly
Figaro was tied into the lorry and the door was closed. Fleur rested her head on my shoulder sobbing
as if her heart were broken. That isn't
a useless string of words in this case.
Fleur really was heartbroken at Figaro's departure. I tried to comfort her as much as possible.
“He's only
going down the road. A few miles that's
all.” I said gently. I added,
“You'll be
able to visit him, I'm sure of that.”
But I didn't believe it, and neither did she. Fleur put her feelings into words.
“I feel lost. Figaro gave me some sort of protection. I loved him for that. I suppose he loved me.” she said.
I nodded.
“I see what
you mean.” I said.
“Ah,
Well.” Fleur sniffed, she almost choked on her words.
“I suppose
I'd better get on with life.” she said
sadly. Fleur took her weight off of my
shoulder and looked out over the half door.
“I wonder
who's.” She looked disgusted,
“I hate this
expression. Who's going to replace
Figaro?” Fleur spat the word “Replace”
out as if it was a hot potato.
“I've met
her.” I said.
“Met
Who?” Fleur asked.
“Figaro's,
well, sorry, err, replacement.” I said
quickly. Fleur swallowed hard and took a
few deep breaths.
“What's this
new horse like?” she asked frostily.
“Well,
she's, oh, I can't pronounce her breed.
Anyway, her name's Carmen...”
Fleur stopped me.
“That's
Caramel I think you'll find.” she said.
“No, it's
Carmen, Short for Calm, n,
collected. Which she isn't at the
moment.” I said. Fleur was laughing
helplessly.
“Why
that? Why choose a name for a horse in
that way?” I was mystified.
“Search
me. I don't know, but I'm sure Carmen
won't approve of it.” I replied.
“No, I don't
think she will.” Fleur said. I finally left Fleur's box and returned to
the main yard. I put my head in at
Rosie's box to see if she was home but she wasn't.
“In the
school no doubt.” I thought. Then I paid a visit to Carmen.
She looked at me with a frightened expression on her
face.
“Who are
you?” she asked timidly.
“My name's
Ellen. I'm a resident here.” Carmen shook from nose to tail with fright.
“Who, what,
get away from me!” she yelled. I took a pace backwards and tried to calm her
down.
“Definitely
not Calm and collected.” I thought. Carmen stared at me trying to fight her urge
to scream with terror.
“What are
you frightened of Carmen?” I asked
gently. Carmen's eyes were almost
popping out of her head.
“I'm in
this new place, I'm among horses I don't know, I'm faced with one of the
largest horses I've ever seen in my life, and, humans keep trying to touch
me! I hate it! I hate it!”
she wailed. I tried to sooth her
shattered nerves.
“Carmen, I'm not going to hurt you, I'm
trying to help you, please, please, let us help you settle in. You can't do it all yourself. Let us try to do something to help you.” I pleaded.
Carmen stared at me for a few minutes.
Fleur then appeared at my back.
“That's
Carmen is it?” she asked.
“Yes, and
she's frightened Fleur. Can you work
your agik with her?” I asked. Fleur stood a good few yards back from Carmen
while she spoke in a lilting, soothing voice to her.
“come on
Carmen, don't let us frighten you. We're
not going to harm you.” she
whispered. Carmen seemed to relax
visibly.
“Carry on
Fleur, it's working.” Jingle said softly. I watched Carmen stretch her nose out towards
Fleur. Fleur continued to talk to her.
“Good girl
Carmen, that's better.” she said. Carmen looked relieved and I saw the
beginning of a smile in her eyes.
“I see you're
not going to hurt me.” she said
faintly. Fleur smiled at Carmen.
“Do you
feel up to coming to meet some of the other horses?” I asked.
Carmen looked at me as if she hadn't seen me before.
“Ellen,
well, yeah, all right.” she finally
replied. I unbolted her door and Fleur
Followed Carmen and I into the sunshine.
We walked across to Rosie's box.
She was being re‑stabled and she saw us as we approached.
“Hi Ellen,
Fleur, Carmen. How we doing then. I see that you've shaken your fear.” When Rosie referred to “you” she meant Carmen. Carmen actually smiled.
Yes, I don't know what came over me... I don't know what to call you?” Carmen said suddenly.
“How about
Rosie.” Rosie suggested. Carmen laughed,
“Sounds
good enough for me.” she said.
“That's
settled then.” Rosie said. Carmen watched a human or two go past on
their business. Then a human we
recognised came round the corner. Carmen
freaked out!
“Hell!
who's that?” she squealed.
“He's
harmless Carmen, he's my friend.” Fleur
said gently. She was gambling that
Carmen was so attached to her at this point that whatever she said Carmen would
accept. This was the case. Carmen viewed Fleur as her protector and
guide. Fleur attempted to get the human
to come to her.
“Hey
Martin! Over here!” she shouted.
“He doesn't
know who you are.” I told her. Fleur nodded,
“It's
Fleur.” she shouted again. The man came over to Fleur and started
stroking her. Fleur nudged Carmen.
“Is this
the human that frightened you?” she
asked. Carmen replied,
“Yes.”
“Let him
stroke you.” Fleur suggested. Despite her fears Carmen did.
“It's good,
very good.” she said with surprise.
“He's not
going to hurt you Carmen. Quite the
reverse in fact.” I reassured her. Carmen was lapping up the fuss being made of
her within ten minutes.
“You see
what Ellen means?” Fleur asked.
“Yes, I
do, I’m stupid aren't I.” Carmen
said. Misty called over to Carmen.
“No you're
not stupid. The place you came from
wasn't so open as this is I suppose.
Now, you're having to adjust to
it.” Fleur shook her head making her
long mane fly in the breeze.
“Let's all
go and see Jinja.” Rosie suggested.
“Who's
Jinja?” Carmen asked.
“He's my
husband.” Rosie replied.
“Is he as
large as you?” Carmen asked.
“Oh no, no,
he's not by a long chalk.” Rosie replied
patiently. So we all trooped down to the
field to pay a visit to Jinja.
Jinja was
standing in a field on his own. Carmen
commented on this.
“He prefers
it this way.” Someone said. Carmen whipped round to see Jingle standing
behind her. She jumped a mile.
“Jingle! You gave me a
fright!” Carmen exclaimed. Jingle replied in her most disarming tone,
“Sorry about
that Carmen dear.” Carmen seemed to be
soothed by Jingle's manner. Jinja had
caught sight of us by now and was engaged in galloping across the field towards
us.
“Hi you
lot!” he whooped. Carmen, poor easily frightened Carmen looked
very uncomfortable with this type of address.
It didn't help when Jinja tried to hug her. This was a friendly gesture of his. He may not like horses for permanent company
but he was unfailingly courteous towards ladies.
“Don't
worry about Jinja. He's totally
harmless.” Rosie reassured Carmen. Jinja sensed that he was unwanted. He backed off with many apologies.
“I'm not
used to this.” Carmen said.
“used to
what?” Fleur asked.
“Respect.
In my old home you had to fight for the smallest scrap of respect.” Carmen replied.
“Don't
worry Carmen. Here we take you as you
are.”
“You also
help me to get over my fears.” Carmen
added.
“It's all
free, and there are no strings attached to a family are there.” Jinja said.
Carmen gulped back tears. I don't
think she had ever been referred to as part of a family since she was taken
from her mother. This reference to her
being part of a family touched Carmen and we had our first real look at the
horse behind the frightened shell. I saw
that Carmen just wanted to be loved, that's all. She had had endless love from humans, but she
hadn't been loved by horses. Fleur
decided to eat some of the grass growing in the field.
“Hey that's
mine!” Jinja wined.
“Finder's
keeper's.” was Fleur's reply. Carmen watched this display with growing
interest. She had noticed that when
Fleur had taken a mouthful of grass Jinja had told her off. But this was different to anything she had
heard before. The telling off wasn't
really meant as such. Jinja was playing
with Fleur and her with him. Carmen
realised that Jinja wasn't going to attack her, spit at her or isolate her for
every little thing she did that might be taken in two ways. She copied Fleur in eating some of the sweet
grass. Jinja smiled at her.
“Go right
ahead. There's plenty of it.” he said gently. Fleur nuzzled Carmen in an attempt to show
affection. Carmen was still frightened
however and shied away from Fleur. She charged away across the field. We watched her go with a mixture of
resignation and sorrow.
"Hummm, we'll have to work
on her a little more. Well done anyway
Fleur, you've tried your best."
Rosie said.
Carmen had finally come to rest beside a beach hedge on
the other side of the field. I
approached her carefully so I didn't cause her undue distress. Carmen trembled visibly as I approached.
"I don't
think she'll last much longer if this carries on." I thought.
Carmen suddenly raised her head and gave vent to the most terrifying
whinny I had ever heard.
"She's
coming to get me!" Carmen screamed.
"No I'm
not you stupid bozo!"
"Don't
call me that Ellen!" Carmen
shrieked.
"Carmen, Calm down! Calm down!" Rosie pleaded. Carmen stared at Rosie in terror!
"I'm
frightened of you all!" she
shouted.
"Why? What have we done to
frighten you Carmen?" Carmen didn't
answer that, the truth was she didn't know how.
Her fear was unexplainable in words.
I tried anyway.
"Is it
that you're in a new place, you're with
new people, and you feel that you can't
cope?" I asked softly.
"That's
right Ellen." Carmen replied
faintly.
Carmen wasn't used to unconditional love. She had had to work for any respect. So,
now she was in a herd where love and affection was unconditional, she
wasn't able to cope with it. We knew
then that we would have to build her confidence in us. Carmen shook herself and looked at Jinja.
“You're the
reason why I went mad.” she said. Jinja's shock at this accusation touched
me. He is a caring compassionate horse
who wouldn't hurt anything, and this newcomer insulting him like this was too
much.
“I was being
friendly, that's all Carmen!” he
whimpered. I saw the hurt in his face as
he looked towards me. Jinja then did
something I have never seen a grown horse do before. He walked up to Rosie and hugged her. Rosie returned the complement and then
realised why Jinja had done it. Carmen had upset him and he was looking for
comfort. Rosie nuzzled her husband.
“Don't
worry Jinj. She'll come round
soon.” Rosie said softly. Jinja was sobbing into Rosie's fur. Fleur shot Carmen a disgusted look. She snapped,
“How do you
feel now Carmen? You've upset
Jinja.” Carmen's eyes were full of
terror.
“I didn't
mean to! I really didn't. I don't know what came over me.” she said quickly. Jinja looked at her from tear filled eyes.
“I don't
know what to make of you Carmen.” he
said. Carmen tried to hug Jinja but
Rosie wouldn't let her.
“Get away
from him! You've hurt him enough
today!” she snarled. Carmen ran away across the field, out of the
gate, and back to her box. Jingle watched her go.
“Sorry about that Jinj.” she said.
“It's not
your fault, why do you always think it is?”
Jinja asked. Jingle didn't answer
that. She turned back towards the yard
and started back to her box, we followed.
I returned to the barn where Fleur was stabled. Cleo now stood where Figaro had just three
days ago.
“HI!” Cleo said airily.
“Afternoon
Cleo.” We replied. Cleo looked at Fleur with admiration.
“I'd love to
have a coat like yours.” Cleo said. Fleur smiled.
“Thanks for
the complement.” she replied. I shook my head to rearrange my mane. It had got tangled and I was sick of it.
“I'll have
to remind the Lads to groom me.” I
thought. Fleur's coat still looked as clean and neat as ever. I wondered how she managed it.
“Is there
some new shampoo you've been using on the quiet Fleur?” I asked.
despite her attempts to keep a straight face Fleur started to
smile. In the face of such comment I
think I would. She finally answered my
question.
“No, nothing
special. Just a good grooming that's
all.” Cleo sighed heavily.
“You okay
Cleo?” Fleur asked. Cleo fought her emotions. She swallowed and said,
“I know
I've only just moved here. But, can I
ask something of you Fleur?” Fleur
nodded,
“Yes, well,
within reason of course.” she replied
airily. But Cleo's enquiry was anything
but casual.
“I've heard
you're good at unscrambling nerves.”
Cleo began. Fleur stayed calm as
Cleo continued:
“I've never
told anyone about this, well, not in very much detail. It all started eight years ago.” Fleur and all the other horses in the yard
had heard of Cleo's mother's accident, and any other horse, including me I must
say would have jumped in with a comment such as,
“Yes, what
about the accident?” But Fleur
didn't. She had more sense than
that. Brainy she might not have been,
but sensitive she surely was. Cleo then
came to describe the accident itself.
“My mother
and I were pulling a coach sort of thing along a road one day. The weather was fine, like today really. My mother was in high spirits because of the
weather. She always reacted like this to
sunshine.” Cleo laughed slightly as she
said this last bit. Pausing slightly for
breath she continued, but now her voice held a note of dread. I knew she was screwing herself up to tell
something she had blocked out of her mind for eight years.
“The car came
round the corner. It was on the wrong
side of the road. I think the driver was
drunk. The car smashed into the coach
and ploughed into my mother and I. We
were knocked down and battered by the car.
Then the car backed away and drove off!”
Cleo was almost sobbing.
“The driver
of the coach got down and tried to revive my mother. I knew she was dead! I just knew she was!” Cleo buried her face in Fleur's shoulder
letting go totally.
I had never heard such an appalling story. Okay, I'm hearing you shout something about
my story being just as bad. It was, but
there's always worse. Pippa and I knew
about the dangers we were putting ourselves into, my mother knew the danger she
put herself into by stepping in front of the bolt. But Cleo and her mother didn't know. They had no idea that the car was going to
hit them. Now facts had to be faced
however. Cleo's problem was out in the
open and Fleur's job was to try and help Cleo deal with it. Cleo had stopped crying after a little
while. I had gone through the same
stages. Crying seemingly endlessly and
then finding that I didn't want to cry any more. The grief I felt was a sickening loss in my
heart. As if I had lost a part of
me. Fleur rubbed her nose against
Cleo's. Cleo and Fleur opened their
doors and they both walked out into the yard, turned right and headed for the
fields. The Manageress came into view
around the side of the barn. She watched
the two horses go. She came into the
barn and spotted me.
“Ellen,
Carmen's in a hell of a state.” the
Manageress said.
“She was
acting strangely today I'll vouch for that.”
I replied. Rosie looked in as she
passed the barn.
“You coming
for a cup of tea?” she asked. I turned and followed her towards the
restaurant. The Manageress followed us
saying something like,
“I'll never know
how these two do it.” We walked towards
the restaurant and opened the door. We
caused pandemonium in the well ordered human sanctuary.
“What're
two horses doing in here?” Someone
asked. The Manageress couldn't
answer, she was laughing helplessly.
“They're
impossible aren't they.” she said.
“Can we have
some tea please?” I asked. The Manageress started laughing again.
“Yeah, Ellen, you can have tea if you can make
it. Second thoughts, someone make tea
for these two. Make that three.” she added.
So we got our Tea. Two great big
Mixing bowls of the stuff for Rosie
and myself. The Manageress
watched us drinking the brown liquid with some amusement.
“So you'll be
in here often?” she asked.
“Well yeah,
I don't see why not.” Rosie
replied. She glanced over at me.
“How's your
tea Ellen?”
“Warm and
wet.” I replied.
“Oh ha ha,
very funny I don't think.” Rosie said.
“Thanks
very much auntie.” I said. Rosie wailed,
“Don't call
me that!”
“All right
then Bozo.” I replied.
“I'll draw
the line at that also.” Rosie said. I finished off with,
“Don't
allow much do you.” Rosie thumped me.
“Be quiet
Ellen.” she said playfully. We backed out of the restaurant and headed
for our boxes. The Manageress followed
us and disappeared into the office.
“Probably
gone to fix an appointment with the Psychologist for us.” Rosie commented.
“There's
nothing wrong with wanting a cup of tea is there?” I enquired.
“There is
when a horse: one, wants a cup of tea in the first place, and, two, goes into a
restaurant to get it.” Rosie
replied. Fleur stopped me as I entered
the barn.
“Enjoy our
tea did we?” she asked.
“Yes, it's
good stuff you know.” I replied. Fleur wrinkled her nose.
“Ugh, I
tried the stuff once and it made me sick.”
she said. I walked back to my box
passing Natasha and Candy's on the way.
I had moved only a few days before and I had noticed that Natasha kept
looking for me.
“I can't
get used to you not being here Ellen.”
she said as I passed.
“I'm only
round the corner.” I replied. Natasha smiled at me.
“I know that
Ellen.” Natasha said.
I suppose I had better bring this story to an end. I'll rite soon I promise. See you sometime soon.
I, MARTIN WILSHER, here by assert and give notice of my right
under section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be
identified as the author of the foregoing article.
© Copyright Martin Wilsher 1998-2000
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